Thursday, May 28, 2009


The way products revolving around sex are presented in their television commercials annoys me. These products can be about nothing but sex. The pitch comes off as juvenile and naughty. Straight, mature, talk would be less offending. I don't require silly euphemisms. Tell me what your wares can do for me in no uncertain terms. I cannot be embarrassed. I'm not here to be titillated. Talk to me. I'm an adult.

Actors speak about sexual subjects with the same nervous apprehension as those in 'polite society' Never mind that it's 3 a.m. and I've been watching an uncut Comedy Central show . The commercial still has to go to ridiculous lengths to skirt the subject matter in order not to offend any viewers.

The ad for Enzyte has this... this... woman coming on my TV with her smirky-assed grin. In a cooing voice she tells you how these sugar pills, or whatever the fuck they are, will help enlarge "that certain part of the male anatomy." I just want to punch her. Lady, Just say, "It will make your penis bigger and as a result girls seeking big penises will now have sex with you. ."

Then there's these two gals giggling it up because of Trojan's Vibrating Touch. As far as I can tell, the vibrating touch is a retrofitted joy-buzzer that aids in masturbation. Fine. I can see where that would come in handy when your work break is only five minutes long and there are hot dudes like me walking about your office. I just can't take the embarrassed twittering about these ladies' use of the product. Even the senior female chimes in that she's a satisfied customer herself. More girl giggles. A side issue: If a man is caught punching the clown on the job, wouldn't he be cast out for being a perve? Anyway, why isn't there mention of how this product is superior to other methods of self pleasure. I want charts. I want statistics. Maybe a graphic or two.

Girls Gone Wild: College girls lifting their shirts and revealing a blurry chests for 30 straight minutes gets a bit tiresome. In fact, college girls lifting their shirts for 30 straight minutes and revealing their nipples may get a bit tiresome. And what's this fixation with "coeds"? I don't know of any data that says higher education results in firmer, rounder, or perkier breasts. Will beating one's meat to these DVDs result than a higher IQ for the end user? I am puzzled by the selling point of "This time we've gone too far!" Naked is naked. Maybe going too often is more accurate. I'm of the opinion that one DVD can be considered a lifetime supply of GGW material. Maybe that's why we have the blurry chests. If one DVRed the commercial with the entire chest revealed then there would be no reason to buy the whole DVD.

1 comment:

112mirabela said...

well... i agree there, you have right. why to have common decency anyway? it survives because most societies cannot endure simple life facts. like ... farting, :) for example. I remember one Durex TV ad was banned from screening because it showed a bouquet of women having an orgasm...