Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Punching

I'd like to see a world much like the toon world in the old Roger Rabbit movie . The toons could take a falling anvil to the head, shake it off, and keep on going. Along with toon-like resilience for the faces of my fellow man, I additionally wish that punching was an accepted way of sending a message to those who annoy you. The recipient of a good punch could stand there with his face comically distorted and have stars circling his head for a few moments while everyone laughed at him. A yaddy yaddy later the face would pop back into place and life would go on.

On these terms, punching is funny to me. I laughed uncontrollably when Chevy Chase punched in the face of Marty Moose. When lady Twitterers threaten to punch people it's funny on so many levels. A sweet girl belting an obnoxious boss in the puss? How can I not laugh at the notion?

So given that these people's faces would pop back into place (eventually) , here is my list of
People I'd Like to Punch.

  1. Sam Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher.

  2. Howie Mandell

  3. "Doctor" Phil

  4. Seth Green

  5. Mike Pence

  6. Billy Mays

  7. Rush Limbaugh

  8. The guy two doors down from me.

  9. Miss California

  10. The lady talking about "certain part of the male anatomy" on the Extenze commercial

  11. The bearded dickhead on the Save The Children promo

  12. John Edward a.k.a "Biggest Douche in the Universe"

  13. Bob Rohrman

  14. Dick Cheney

  15. Glen Beck

  16. Jack and Rexalla Van Impe

  17. Donald Trump

  18. Paula Abdul

  19. A random AIG executive

  20. The lady ahead of me in the checkout lane.

  21. Mike Tirico

  22. Dick Bavetta

  23. Jennifer Aniston

  24. Joe Biden

  25. TBA

4 comments:

TMC said...

I totally love this. I'm going to have to think about who I'd put on my list. I don't care for Howie Mandel at all but I think instead of punching him I'd like to wipe my hands all over his face since that'd be more insulting than fistbumping his noggin.

Call Me Cate said...

I totally support the concept. I even support most of your choices! Can we add Jessica Simpson? She hasn't done anything lately but I'm sure she needs punched for some reason.

andy said...

i am SO going to make a list of people i want to punch.

what a fantastic idea.

andy:)

abraham said...

Hurrah! I humbly add 1. Opra 2. Indy Street Dept, and 3.The CIB.