Saturday, November 27, 2010

Ka-Pow!

I Usually put together a couple of lists during the year as do many real journalists who are desperate to meet a deadline.

http://trmink.blogspot.com/2009/05/punching.html gained a little bit of popularity and for a few months it became a weekly feature on this oft renamed, reinvented, and periodically idle blog space.* So here's an updated list of those who currently require a virtual right hook.

The Glenn Beck** List of People I'd Like to Punch in The Face

1. Mike Tirico is the worst announcer evah! He works ESPN's second-rate Monday night football broadcast, when everyone knows Sunday Night Football is the true game of the week. Tirico doesn't know dick about football. Particularly annoying when he says that "3rd down is coming up" when it IS, in fact, 3rd down. I've e-mailed him about this and he keeps doing it.

2. Bret Favre needs to get his tired media-hogging, interception-throwing, team-ruining , old ass off the field.

3. Michael Kors is a bitch. He's mean for the sake of mean. Mondo should have won project Runway and not that prima donna, Gretchen.

4. Sarah Palin represents all the Tea Party flavored politicos. I don't have the time or edurance to collapse the face of every ignorant sonofabitch that "wants their country back."

5. Mitch McConnell and his 40 obstructionist fellow GOP thugs that would rather see the country go in the toilet than let any Obama-backed legislation pass.

6. Nancy Grace brings more drama than I can take. Her voice grates on me like someone sharpening their teeth on an emery board

7. Brad Paisley wears a cowboy hat. Funny thing happens to all the great country music that is penned in Nashville, then is processed and molded into Music Row's idea of what will sell. Not hating on Brad in particular, but generally anyone who has to submit ot wearing a cowboy hat so people know that they are listening to approved country music. Same with fakey, cutesy cute southern accents like the one acted out by Miranda Lambert. I've actually seen both perform and they are very talented. Would like to hear them do an acoustic version of songs that they like. I wish they would do like Steve Earle did and tell the West End to fuck off.

8. Paul Teutul Sr. is suprisingly still on the air. American Chopper has worn out its welcome and his grumpy old man schtick has gone stale.

9. Kristen Wig is the weakest link on SNL yet gets the most air time. Whenever "Gilly" comes on I switch channels.

10. Cesar Milan could not train my dogs. They're too smart for his bullshit. Besides I can't stand anyone telling me or another living thing to shush. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. A Pit Bull needs to bite his ass clean off.

Dishonorable Mention: Liz Cheney, Mamoud Ahmedinejad, Jerry Lewis, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Jessica Simpson, LeBron James, Alan Greenspan, Dane Cook, Dr. Oz, Bob Rohrman

Next Up: People I actually like.

* Yup. I missed a couple days of Nabplopomo because of Thanksgiving. While not claiming success, I will blog on for the rest of the month anyway.
** Glenn Beck has been permanently retired as the #1 punchable person in all eternity.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your dogs are smart - they have a human well trained to clean up every time they pee indoors!