Life Statistics

I saw my doctor last week for my annual physical. I looked on as he thumbed through my file. Interesting. Facts and figures about my body's trek through life could be tallied. I wanted to take the folder home and create a spreadsheet. Too bad that data about some of the more fascinating aspects of my life haven't been tracked. Here are some of the Grand Totals that I wish had at my disposal:

Diet colas I've consumed
Gallons of urine produced
Dollars wasted
Hours slept
Hours watching television
Baseball games attended
Times I've said "shit" and "fuck"
Number of people I know by name
Number of people that know me by name
Miles I've driven
Miles I've walked