Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I was going to go off on still another shitty driver with the Indiana "In God We Trust" plates, but I better put my stone away.

I come across a barricade that says ROAD CLOSED. But hey!, some other guy has wended through the obstacles and is cruising freely toward the next major intersection. Three more cars follow. So do I. Great move! We go merrily along about a mile down the road and abruptly; well, there is no road. A dead end if I've ever seen one. I'm one on 12 or 13 drivers turning around and backtracking the mile to the clearly marked warning sign. As I was getting back to where I started even more cards are headed toward the end of the trail.

Despite my bad call on the closed road, the fur on my back is still standing up over the antics of the driver of one of of the many Jesusmobiles in these parts. The two lane switch without turn signal and the abrupt stop right in front of me before sidling into Wal-Mart was a sight to behold. Plastered on the back of this rolling menace was a bevy of trite ribbons and the mother of all stupid bumper stickers: My Boss was a Jewish Carpenter. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I don't even want to get into the absurdity of the statement, let alone the thought that somehow this message is going to "save" me or anyone else.

Go ahead and laugh at me. I deserve it after my smooth move. But I didn't besmirch Jesus's name in the process.

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