The song "Tossin' and Turnin'" by Bobby Freeman and its opening line "I couldn't sleep at ALL last night" rang true at 6:45 this morning when I said, "Piss on trying to sleep"
I jumped out of bed , got dressed, and we went out for a big breakfast. At the restaurant, Patti asked, what do you think about when you're lying awake all that time? I hadn't thought much about it and frankly couldn't remember much at all about what I contemplated through the long night. (It was actually only 4 hours because I watched Big Brother After Dark until 3:00 a.m. - more on this passion of mine later. ) One thing did stand out. A neuron fired at about 4:30 a.m. that unlocked a lost memory. It was of the Presto Hot Dogger.
I had one of those in the pre microwave days. Presto boasted that it could cook a hot dog in 6 seconds. It could. You took the wiener of your choice and stuck one end into a a spiked electrode and did the same with the other end, bridging the gap between the two electric skewers. You turned on the power and zapped the dog. Six seconds later, you had up to 6 fully-cooked dogs. The ends were usually charred and all the fat was burned off. leaving them smoking and withered away. If you left a budget dog on too long, you could produce a flame. The time saved cooking was given back and then some during cleanup.
I don't know what became of the old Hot Dogger. Most likely it was sold at a garage sale or thrown out. It may even be lurking somewhere in my old house. This is what I contemplated. Where have the Hot Doggers gone ? Since the safety device of having to close the lid before the power would come could be easily circumvented, I wondered if this had been tried. I never attempted to grab both spikes and turn it on or know of anyone who did. But like I've always said, "If one can think of it, someone has already done it. "
In the wrong hands, I imagined, all kinds of mischief could be wrought. Torture device? Rodent control? The ultimate whoopee cushion? My brain ran with this for a disturbingly long amount of time. I am not proud of the many diabolical uses for a discarded Hot Dogger that I mentally listed. I hope I sleep well tonight.
News: I'm an uncle again! Tyler James weighed in at 10 lbs 2 oz. when he debuted yesterday.