Death By Randy

Office Depot.

I've been in the store three days running. It was ample time to realize that the employees of Office Depot are being tortured.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive's "Taking Care of Business" was blaring over the tinny Office Depot P.A. system. No big deal. Most places anymore blare such ditties. It is widely held that every white guy over 50 likes classic rock and only the 8 or 9 songs that have been playing on classic rock stations for 30-plus years. Count me out. Put me in the I-was-tired-of-theses-songs-after-the-first-one-hundred-times-I heard-them category.

So, I'm contemplating what label-printer to purchase and BTO is on again. They didn't even cycle through Styx, Kansas, or Bob Seeger. Then they cut TCB short. Thank God! Maybe the day manager is taking his cassette (or eight-track) home.

The next day, there it is again. Randy Bachman and his boys sing a bar or two up until just before the "working overtime" part of the song. The checkout line is long on this day and 10 minutes later, some female voice does some blah-blah-blah and then more "takin' care of biz - ness (everday) - takin' care..." Holy shit! They run this every ten minutes ALL DAY LONG!" How can they do this to these poor people? They're going to have to lock down all the scissors, paper cutters, shredders, letter openers, and the more powerful staplers. Someone is going to snap.

This isn't the first time Bachman-Turner Overdrive has been used as a torture device. In Las Vegas, the pit with the "Let It Ride"table game , plays BTO's song of the same name with the same regularity. Vegas is a 24 hour operation. Hopefully the union doesn't allow double shifts in that area.

The next time I go in to Office Depot, I'm taking ear protection.

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