Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Baby. She Calls Everybody, Baby

I've had it with this woman.

The lady that lives inside the u-scan at the Meijer store has pissed me off for the last time. I'm a pro when it comes to getting what I need at the grocery store at the lowest prices and getting out of there within minutes. When I scan the first item as directed, I have it headed for the sandwich-bag sized tote before the scan beep stops reverberating. Despite this near-light-speed transfer, I still get "Please place the item in the bag".

"It's already in the bag", I say. No apology from robo girl. Nothing.

Beep, beep, beep. I have something light like hot dog buns and I get, "Please remove the last item from the bag and rescan it."

"Bullshit, lady. I'm not paying for this again!"

If you remove the item or do nothing you get, "Please place the item or items back in the bag."

"It's already in the bag, Dear."

After I finally get my stuff scanned and bagged, I go through a demeaning series of prompts about inserting bills, picking up my items, grabbing my receipt, going to the attendant for change. On and on. Meanwhile those going through the lanes manned by the often marginally trained are on the way to their cars.

My GPS / Navigation system has one of her cousins working inside it. She has a slightly more pleasing voice, but still tends to take the scenic route to some destinations. The male voice talks like I imagine Smilin' Bob would talk on the Enzyte commercials. He creeps me out.

The only computer babe I seem to like is the Coin Star girl. She talks with a Scandinavian accent and I imagine her as being pretty hot.

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