Sunday, May 4, 2008

Headstones

Headstones are the ultimate flip-off to the living. Headstones deny real estate to generations to come. Collectively, cemeteries prevent agriculture, housing, and other benefits of the land. One's lifeless remains become passive aggressive behavior at its finest. A perpetual sit down strike and it takes a court order to move you.

That's why one side of me wants a big monument. The prospect of annoying people 1000 or more years from now has appeal. I'll be cremated, so there will be no one getting rich by displaying my bones in a roadside attraction. The monument has to be an obelisk with a particularly sharp point. Birds will be denied a resting place.

1 comment:

Tidrow/Stone Family said...

I'm all for cremation too. My idea is to replace graveyards with arbors. A family buys a lot. Then they choose a tree or trees to represent the family. The initial trees come with large metal plaques for names, that are planted in the ground near the tree. Family members names go on the plaque as they pass. All family members that pass are cremated and "inserted" into the soil via an access panel. I have not completely figured out that process yet. The essence is that the family's remains become part of the root system of a tree. When the tree is old enough the plaque is implanted onto the tree, as long as that won't kill the tree. The plaque might just have to stay on the ground. I just think it give the living something we need more tree space and something alive (sorta) to talk to when we want to go to a grave yard. Sure it'll be hella creepy at night but during the day it'll be a really pretty place. I suppose part of this service is to always keep a living tree in that spot. SO if the tree dies it becomes mulch for the next tree to go in it's place. This idea has been with me since I was a teenager. I always thought how nice it would be to have a family tree rather than some cold stone fixture to visit.