I didn't win anything...

... so why should I be happy for you?

Not, YOU, but people on TV game shows who compete for cash and prizes. Case in point is the World Series of Poker.

While I was was grinding away in my local poker room, the WSOP was being shown on ESPN. Players are being knocked out of the tournament and still leaving with 90K. The winner of this massive tournament gets something like 8 million bucks. Some of my fellow players are actually cheering for particular WSOP contestants. Not me. I'm cheering for me at the real game at hand. I want that $50 pot! Some putz that I don't even know wins big and I'm supposed to be excited? I don't expect to be given a taste of the jackpot. I don't care.

On shows like Wheel of Fortune (a.k.a. Wheel of Noise), which I inadvertently watch when forgetting to switch the channel after the local news or tune in early for Jeopardy, I actually love to see people screw up or make a bad spin. I'm cruel that way. The show is taped, so no mojo, karma, jinx, hex or curse sent out by me will have a bearing on the outcome. With the IRS taking a chunk of any winnings on game shows, hoping everyone loses is an outlet for any anarchist leanings within my political conscience.

I am happy for those who successfully completed NaBloPoMo in which I fell short of the post-a-day in November goal. I think this post makes it 28/30 for me. Congratulations to all who meet challenges when no significant monetary gain is to be had.

Danger Lurks

We get this letter from some guy in the sub division who claims he was beaten by two Black (possibly gang members) youths who knocked on his door, forced their way inside, and then started hammering on him. They broke off from the attack, jumped in a waiting car then drove off.

The victim was obviously and understandably upset and sending this letter to all his neighbors probably helped him get past the incident. I don't think he has an agenda, but his sending a notice around has some folks lathered up beyond reason. The letter ends with an all-caps warning not to open your door at night and to take any legal means to protect yourself. I'm calling this irresponsible. It's not his call to put out an APB for two average looking black kids. Just hinting at 2nd amendment solutions to the problem is dangerous. Besides, anyone who has lived in an urban area for any length of time knows not to answer the door for strangers. That's what the little peep hole is for. See who is out there. If you see no reason to open the door, a simple and stern, "Who are you, and what do you want?" will usually suffice.

The letter was printed in MS Comic Sans. A crime in itself if you ask me.

I have no big finish here. Just saying I think the guy could have handled it better.

The Knife Show

If you stay up until 5:00 you might just catch The Knife Show on one of cable's many channels. I tuned in thanks to the good people at ION who continue to offer top-flight entertainment.

The show is impressive. You get to see hundreds of knives in varieties that bewilder the mind of this layman. One bundle offered has 100 knives plus three fancy-looking swords for a mere $100. Two nights ago a free ceramic knife was thrown in and last night you got a complimentary sling blade with your order (The one Carl calls it a kaiser blade.) The guy hawking these knives (Tom O'Dell) sells his ass off. Who for example, is even thinking of buying knives right before dawn breaks, let alone loading up with 100 items? Yet I'm transfixed. I stop short of picking up the phone knowing that I may be facing mammoth shipping charges or some other financial catch that might max out my credit card. Then I snap out of it and realize that only a knife thrower, or perhaps someone who regularly has larger crowds over to debone fish and eat tough steak would require 100 blades.

The Knife Show does sell smaller bundles of knives and an occasional big ticket item that goes for maybe 75% off. The script calls for the deal to get sweeter and sweeter until the timer counts down to when the deal expires. It's intense. You have to hold, hold, hold, until you think that the final offer is made, then hope your call gets through in time.

I have pictured one of the product sets. I am not sure if this particular type of knife has an utilitarian function. I remarked on Twitter that it might include the only tool on the planet capable of cleaning a coelacanth.

Regardless, props to Tom O'Dell of Cutlery Corner and his continuing effort to educate, entertain, and supply knives to people of the night.

Ka-Pow!

I Usually put together a couple of lists during the year as do many real journalists who are desperate to meet a deadline.

http://trmink.blogspot.com/2009/05/punching.html gained a little bit of popularity and for a few months it became a weekly feature on this oft renamed, reinvented, and periodically idle blog space.* So here's an updated list of those who currently require a virtual right hook.

The Glenn Beck** List of People I'd Like to Punch in The Face

1. Mike Tirico is the worst announcer evah! He works ESPN's second-rate Monday night football broadcast, when everyone knows Sunday Night Football is the true game of the week. Tirico doesn't know dick about football. Particularly annoying when he says that "3rd down is coming up" when it IS, in fact, 3rd down. I've e-mailed him about this and he keeps doing it.

2. Bret Favre needs to get his tired media-hogging, interception-throwing, team-ruining , old ass off the field.

3. Michael Kors is a bitch. He's mean for the sake of mean. Mondo should have won project Runway and not that prima donna, Gretchen.

4. Sarah Palin represents all the Tea Party flavored politicos. I don't have the time or edurance to collapse the face of every ignorant sonofabitch that "wants their country back."

5. Mitch McConnell and his 40 obstructionist fellow GOP thugs that would rather see the country go in the toilet than let any Obama-backed legislation pass.

6. Nancy Grace brings more drama than I can take. Her voice grates on me like someone sharpening their teeth on an emery board

7. Brad Paisley wears a cowboy hat. Funny thing happens to all the great country music that is penned in Nashville, then is processed and molded into Music Row's idea of what will sell. Not hating on Brad in particular, but generally anyone who has to submit ot wearing a cowboy hat so people know that they are listening to approved country music. Same with fakey, cutesy cute southern accents like the one acted out by Miranda Lambert. I've actually seen both perform and they are very talented. Would like to hear them do an acoustic version of songs that they like. I wish they would do like Steve Earle did and tell the West End to fuck off.

8. Paul Teutul Sr. is suprisingly still on the air. American Chopper has worn out its welcome and his grumpy old man schtick has gone stale.

9. Kristen Wig is the weakest link on SNL yet gets the most air time. Whenever "Gilly" comes on I switch channels.

10. Cesar Milan could not train my dogs. They're too smart for his bullshit. Besides I can't stand anyone telling me or another living thing to shush. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. A Pit Bull needs to bite his ass clean off.

Dishonorable Mention: Liz Cheney, Mamoud Ahmedinejad, Jerry Lewis, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Jessica Simpson, LeBron James, Alan Greenspan, Dane Cook, Dr. Oz, Bob Rohrman

Next Up: People I actually like.

* Yup. I missed a couple days of Nabplopomo because of Thanksgiving. While not claiming success, I will blog on for the rest of the month anyway.
** Glenn Beck has been permanently retired as the #1 punchable person in all eternity.

News for the Sake of News

In my best Andy Rooney: Ever notice that on holidays there is very little news reported?

Like tonight. The headline story is about another little tiff between the Koreas, that was BIG news yesterday. Although the problem continues, the chatter has subsided. The Palins press to stay in the limelight, but many folks here in the US are turning their attention to their own families tonight. They couldn't get enough of Bristol last evening

If news can be turned off like a faucet, one has to wonder if news is only supplied to meet the current demand. As pointed out by Rachael Maddow, reporting on what someone said is not news. Events are news. Without events, there is no news.

I've always thought that news shows should last only as long as needed or at least fill the program's time slot with lesser but newsworthy news rather than fluff.

I have no news tonight. I do not want to pull a stunt like my crowd dive yesterday just to have something to blog about and I'm quite sure that you care not about how I feel about "The Corydon situation." Star Trek 2.10 or any other subject.